Sunday, October 20, 2013

Race, sexual violence, dating and Game of Thrones

So according to my sister, I committed a redonkulously huge boo boo with my date this weekend
and that I was too naive to tell the guy that I liked him. You should have seen the “NOOOOOO” that came out of her mouth.


[On a side note, all women share their date details with everyone they are close to, even when they say that they will not talk about it. Its pretty much of a known fact]

I went on a date with this MOCs [men of color] and surprisingly sane person [yes, yes stereotyping to highest degree], he seemed really cool and super awesome. We were able to connect and hit it off very quickly. Though one of the things that we passionately disagreed upon was "Game of Thrones" and “Thanksgiving weekend”. Anyways, overall I had a good time with him and after which I told him over text that I liked them and I thought we connected and that I would like to know them more. And its been two days since I heard back from him.

I was of the view that the show was degrading towards women and that it was racist. I am not going to indulge in that aspect of it as there are many people who made very eloquent articles so I will just refer you to them [ref: Aamer Rahman– Game of Tropes]

As for thanksgiving, it basically celebrated a genocidal hero. I mean why the hell we do not have a holiday which celebrates indigenous heroes who fought colonizers or is that too much to ask? If we do not celebrate Hitler's birthday because that would be equivalent to spreading white supremacy and demeaning to Jewish population then why care about “Thanksgiving” which basically demolished a population, made people slaves and so much more.

But thats not the point, the point is I was head strong!

My sister thinks that I came off too strong *I honestly don't know what that means* does that mean that men are scared of women who can actually express their views and who know how to stand their ground and articulate themselves?

Please tell me that I am not crazy for being passionate about my perspectives on sexual violence and racism. I care about it as it affects so many of us, because at the end of the day, the world that we live in is not all white and all male. We do not all enjoy the same privileges. Systemic racism perpetuated in the form of “national holidays” or “favorite TV shows” matter.

He said, “its just a fantasy, you are reading too much into it” and I was like, “I understand that its just a fantasy but obviously its a projection of ideals that authors feel. It is coming from a weird place.”

I don't know maybe I come from a place where I do critically analyze everything and I thought he had his views and he had some mental capacity as well. But I guess I was wrong. I am one of those people who have really high expectations from MOCs [men of colour], it makes my heartache when at the end of the day after being so awesome and amazing, they end up dismissing racism as an important part of our lives.

I write and rage about racism because it is a huge part of my identity. I know its pretty hip to say that we are all “equal” and its all good and love conquers all but its seems like love just failed at the step of “Game of Thrones” * sigh *

My dating advice: Make sure you ask your MoC where he sides on his race politics because as WoC, its important to me.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Snap out of it

After listening to the thoughts of bud of mine, I revisited my decision on why I do not blog about mental health.

I guess being brown really does a number on you especially where you do not discuss or even consider any aspect of mental health issue.

I have had Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, along with acute depression; there was a time when I was on verge of being institutionalized because depression medication increased my suicidal tendencies [one of the side effects] but I had a really great doctor on campus who would call me every morning and check on me and I had amazing amazing girlfriends.

[FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW, ANTI-DEPRESSANT MEDICATION WORK DIFFERENTLY FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE. PLEASE DO NOT CHOOSE MY EXPERIENCE TO BE SIMILAR TO YOURS.]

Though men in my life have never been supportive, I remember getting this from my partner at the time;
                                                                    "just snap out of it" 

I am not sure how you explain to the person who says "snap out of it" when every morning you wake up and stare at ceiling all morning and ask yourself if its a good day to die or if its a good day to have breakfast.
                                                                
                                                                    "its not a big deal"



                           "WEAK PEOPLE TAKE MEDICATION FOR DEPRESSION!!!"

 
The reason I dont necessarily yell about it at the top of my lungs is cos everyone walks through their own issue and they have different things to deal with and most prolly much worse than mine. 


And there are time when my mental health is used against me in my arguments, "oh you just feel it too much cos you are sick". 

And its not the first time I have been told that, I have been told that multiple times by the "Queen Bees" of the activist circles. I was told "I was being too much" and "I was sick and I needed help" when I was advocating for a girl leaving abusive parents.

So yeah, life sucks at times and then you learn to shrug everything off as there is no point in it. Basically reminds me of wise words of one of the people I met this weekend; "there is no place for shame in life..."

Website last updated 2013